So here I am in a horrible delivery room, definitely not the most uplifting of places!! I was greeted by a midwife who hooked me up to a new monitor and a drip and left. We didn’t know how long for or why but we were left. At least the labour, and thus the pain, had stopped. After over 2 hours alone in the room we had to call the midwife back. The pain was back and it was constant. I knew something was wrong and I wanted to know if my baby was well. The midwife returned and told me I was very negative. Wow!! I was still strapped to the bed and it hurt. A lot. I needed the toilet. Once the midwife returned she showed me to the toilet. I couldn’t go. I couldn’t lower myself over the pain so aborted mission. The midwife called for the doctor but I was told not to expect it any time soon as the doctor is busy with emergencies. Well this was an emergency! I needed to know my baby was safe!! It was at this point I had an accident on the bed, I’d wet myself. I was in pain and VERY embarrassed. I should have known not to expect a discreet or even sympathetic response from the midwife. Instead she sarcastically skwarked ‘well SOMEONE should have done their pelvic floor exercises’. Wow.
The doctor arrived quite promptly and had a heated discussion with the midwife in front of us. The midwife believed we should return to a ward until labouring. The doctor disagreed. Due to my pain levels the doctor wanted to examine and break waters if possible. Something was clearly happening whether there was actual progress or not. Well we all know the doctors word is final! My cervix was still posterior and only 2cm dilated! The doctor broke my waters which, let me tell you, was completely agony with a posterior and pretty much closed cervix! I needed gas and air for that bit!! There was merconium in my waters and the doctor seemed concerned.
Once the doctor left I was in excruciating pain. I couldn’t cope. The pain was constant. I wanted to kill myself it was so bad. I called the midwife back after about 2 hours. I was still strapped to a drip and monitor in the bed and could do very little to relieve the pain. It didn’t feel right. I asked for the doctor and the midwife said this would happen in time, the doctor was dealing with emergencies. I told the midwife this is an emergency and i know something’s wrong. I told the midwife it was getting worse. I remember the midwife saying ‘we don’t say worse, we say stronger’ and reminded me of my negativity. I repeatedly asked for the doctor and the midwife reminded me of hypnobirthing and how I can make this easier. She wasn’t listening, that was the last thing on my mind! Once I’d had enough of the midwife testing my patience with her ‘encouraging’ breathing I remember screaming ‘FUCK OFF WITH YOUR FUCKING BREATHING’. How many times did I have to ask for an update on whether my baby was well?
The doctor returned and didn’t like what baby was doing. She suggested an epidural to lower my blood pressure and calm baby. I agreed to anything that would keep baby safe. I had the epidural, it wasn’t bad at all. Baby immediately took a turn for the worse though and I was in theatre within 10 minutes.
The doctor had told me the next stage is a caesarean section. I had asked my options and was told ‘caesarean now or stillbirth later’. I liked the abrupt response…I knew where we stood. Finally. We were ran to theatre with the drip and monitor ran alongside us. I was so scared.
They started cutting me open before Nathan was in the room. Nathan arrived and at some point, I can’t remember if it felt like long or not, we heard a cry. We hadn’t been told baby had been born, in fact we didn’t see the midwife the entire time. Eventually we were presented with a little bundle. The doctors had had her for 15 minutes helping her breathe and we didn’t even know she’d been born!! We didn’t know the gender as the doctors had promptly left. Nathan had a sneaky peek and announced it with ‘I was right all along’. Baby’s a girl!! Our baby was born (or extracted!!) at 6:52 weighing in at 8lb 2. A lot less than the over 10lbs predicted!! After stitching me back up the doctor informed me baby had aseveral true knots i her umbilical cord. I was told id never have laboured normally and even if I had baby would never have survived it. Thank God she was here!!
I had skin to skin with Baby Bottrell at 7:48 and there you have my birth story. I was a Mum. She latched like a pro whilst I finally, in a state or exhaustion, switched off to the world.
Fighting Baby Fever 